Every time I look in the mirror I see them. The flaws I know are oh-so apparent in me. I may seem confident, but I'm not. I may seem brave, but I'm scared. I may seem as though I have all the answers, but I'm really clueless. I don't know what has me thinking these things lately, but I've been struggling lately. I don't know why, but lately I don't see the good in me anymore, only the bad. I see myself for my flaws instead of anything good in me. I'm afraid that I'm starting to become depressed again, but I don't know why. It really makes no sense that I would randomly start being depressed or whatever, but it seems that way. I have a lot of good in my life, and I know that. I see that. But I can't help but see only the bad in myself now. I don't know why. I have an amazing girlfriend, and some fantastic friends, but for some reason I can only see myself thinking things like "Why aren't I as strong as him?" or, "I'm really not very attractive in comparison to these guys." I swear, I sound like a stereo-typical, self-conscious girl. But that's just it, I am self-conscious. I come off as confident, but I'm really not at all. I really doubt myself in just about everything. I don't see myself as an awesome guy or anything, but rather as an unattractive, weak idiot. Maybe I'm being a bit hard on myself for reasons I also don't know. I'm just not myself lately. I haven't been able to focus at all recently, like on anything. Even my gaming has been harder than normal to do, and that's kinda scary for me. Normally gaming is something I can do majorly easy, and hours on end without trying, but lately I just kinda don't feel like doing anything really.I dunno. This post is rather short, and extremely selfish, but I just really needed to vent, and didn't really want to tell anyone in particular, but did want to tell someone. Thanks for listening, to anyone who does actually read this. I'll start posting every Tuesday by 11 pm EST. Promise.
Live on,
Gokin
