I've been listening to the a song lately called Self Conclusion. It's a song that is undoubtedly about suicide. It's an acoustic song, very melodic. It has a story to it, and it goes like this: The setting is the edge of the world. (Really just a cliff I'm assuming). There's a man standing there (the story is from his point of view) and then the girl enters. She basically tells him that she's there to kill herself, but he's in her way. And the guy just sits there throughout the song trying to talk the girl out of suicide. Basically, she calls him crazy and stuff, until the very end. She agrees to give him one night to prove himself to be better than death. His response shook me the first time, as I've been in the situation that this story takes place (just a different setting). He said "Settle precious, I know what you're going through. 'Cause ten minutes before you got here, I was gonna jump too." I really love that song, because it has a happy ending, but kinda leaves you hanging.
Now, back story over, I'll get onto what I really want to rant about. I just want to say, suicide isn't the answer. I have friends who have gone through with it, and it hurts those you leave behind. My friend Chris tried it 2 years ago. He overdosed on pills, and had to go to the ICU and rehab type thing. Sammy went through with it, as you all know by now. Life does get better if you give it time. If you're contemplating suicide, email me, my email-address is on my profile. And I will never mention anything about you or your life if you don't want me to. I know many people who have been touched by suicide, including my entire family. When I was very young one of my aunts committed suicide. She was very well loved by the entire family, but there's no going back. So, if you're considering suicide, think about those who you will leave behind.
I think it's time I talk a little more about Sammy. I need to, or I'll never move on. Sammy and I were really really close. We didn't live near each other, but that really didn't matter. She told me everything, and I told her everything too. We talked just about every day, there were few days we didn't. I know she'll always be in my heart, and she'll always be watching over me. I hope she realizes how much I miss her. She was a major part of my life, and now she's gone.
My biggest point is to not do it. You're not alone in the world, no matter how much it seems like it. Sometimes we all feel alone. If you ever need someone to talk to I'm here. I'll always be around. I have my email forwarded to my phone, so I'm here for anyone who ever needs me, just email me. I'll call you, text you, make an account on any free social networking site to be here for you. (I can't do paid ones, I don't have the money). So, basically, I know I'm repeating myself, but don't commit suicide. It hurts everyone around you, and you never get the chance to take it back.
Lastly, thank you Allie. You've been inspiring me to save the world. I was really going to give up with the death of Sammy, but now I know I have to try my best. This post wasn't written all at once, so my thoughts aren't really flowing, and I apologize for that. I do have a plan though now. I'm going to save the world by the process of changing lives, even if it is one at a time. But I can't do it alone. Whoever reads this, do some kind today. If you see a homeless man, buy him food. If you see a woman struggling with her children and groceries, offer to help out. If we all lend a small hand we can change the world. Darkness spreads fast, it can change our whole day and make it terrible if we let it. But Light can do the same, so let's spread our light onto the world and show them what we're made of.
I guess this is it. The last thing I want to leave you with, is this. I'm always here for you, whoever you are. I'll always be. Come to me at your own time, I'll listen. I have love for you all.
(Sorry this post has been all over the place, next one will be better)
Live on,
Gokin
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